Rental: The Corpse Bride 2. Oh, Danny Elfman.... Are you truly a one-trick pony when it comes to animated musicals? Did you truly shoot your wad on Nightmare Before Christmas? That was good. This... Not so much. I'll now spread the criticisms beyond just Danny to include Tim Burton. Guys, guys, GUYS.... NBC had depth and richness. It was interesting to watch even when the story and/or one of the songs got a little weak. It was so obvious that you pulled out all the stops, and it's also obvious, decades later, that we appreciated you for it. (Look at the merchandising that continues to this day.) But Corpse Bride has no such richness to fall back on. I hesitate to use a word that I usually reserve for uninterested, post-pubescent workers at McDonalds or Best Buy, but the job done on this movie can be summed up with one expression: Half-assed. Maybe I'm being overly critical here, but I'm disappointed. This movie didn't live up to expectations, and that annoys me. While exceedingly superficial and unengaging, it was sometimes enjoyable. But 15 minutes into it, I could tell this story was going to paint itself into a corner. Someone in this cast, someone you're going to try hard to make us care about, had to lose. And no amount of silly, fairy-tale consolation prize of a plot patch (which was obviously designed to ease the tender minds of its younger viewers) could fix it. I almost felt insulted by it.

Catch this on TV some night later this year if you're bored, or if you're already a movie channel subscriber watch it in bits and pieces over the 156 times it's going to be shown over the next month. But don't go out of your way for it.  ¶ 3:36 AM