Mr. Creepy Rates Hollywood's Latest Cheese!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Cloverfield
7. Somewhere between Cloverfield and the awful U.S. Godzilla film from 1998 is a really good Godzilla movie. Cloverfield really brings to your face the awfulness and unbelievability of a giant monster attacking New York City. (It also brings to your throat anything you've had to eat in the past few hours. Seriously... one of it's most effective visual strategies is also its biggest problem, the hand-held, point-of-view camera angle of EVERYTHING. The unsteady jumping around is worse than in The Blair Witch Project.... way worse.)
Other than that complaint, Cloverfield is filled with "holy fuck!" moments, and even though it's shown from the perspective of people not directly involved in the action, really illustrates what would happen if a giant monster showed up that we couldn't handle conventionally. Seriously... We're screwed.
Being one of the people who wasn't effected by the sick-making camera work, I enjoyed Cloverfield. It's a pity that it's out of theaters now, as I think it'll lose some of its impact once the monster is shrank smaller than Googleplex screen size. I'll probably rent it for another look at the fast moving details. Take Dramamine, be scared. ¶ 3:23 PM 0 comments
7. Somewhere between Cloverfield and the awful U.S. Godzilla film from 1998 is a really good Godzilla movie. Cloverfield really brings to your face the awfulness and unbelievability of a giant monster attacking New York City. (It also brings to your throat anything you've had to eat in the past few hours. Seriously... one of it's most effective visual strategies is also its biggest problem, the hand-held, point-of-view camera angle of EVERYTHING. The unsteady jumping around is worse than in The Blair Witch Project.... way worse.)Other than that complaint, Cloverfield is filled with "holy fuck!" moments, and even though it's shown from the perspective of people not directly involved in the action, really illustrates what would happen if a giant monster showed up that we couldn't handle conventionally. Seriously... We're screwed.
Being one of the people who wasn't effected by the sick-making camera work, I enjoyed Cloverfield. It's a pity that it's out of theaters now, as I think it'll lose some of its impact once the monster is shrank smaller than Googleplex screen size. I'll probably rent it for another look at the fast moving details. Take Dramamine, be scared. ¶ 3:23 PM 0 comments
2007: Playing Catch-Up
In an attempt to catch up and get the site rolling again, I'm going to synopsize the rest of the movies I saw in 2007. No full reviews will be provided. Occasional commentary wherever the mood hits.
Click:
4. Harmless fun, if a little preachy. Christopher Walken = fun. Kate Beckinsale is one of the hottest, most desirable girls in film today. I want her very very badly.
Disturbia:
6. Really quite good. Suspenseful, Hitchcockian quality to it.
Fracture:
2. Anthony Hopkins, back at the creepiness he does so well. Slightly shakey plotline.
Hot Fuzz:
9. I can't begin to tell you how much fun this movie is. I bought the DVD.
The Invisible:
4. I remember thinking this wasn't bad.
Next:
1. Nice premise. This could have been so much more than it was.
Spider-Man 3:
1. What a crashing disappointment after the first two movies. I bought the DVDs of those, I didn't of this. It was like watching a train wreck. One of those movies that desperately needed someone whose sole job was to smack the writer/director/producer in the head every time they uttered the phrase, "wouldn't it be funny if....??"
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End:
8. Good. Better than PotC 2, which I maintain should have been edited into a 30 minute lead-in to this film.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer:
6. I maintain that they've still got the wrong people in this movie at all levels (with the exception of Chris Evans, who "gets" Johnny Storm). The Silver Surfer looks good. At least we're finally dealing on a more cosmic level of plotline, which the FF is all about. Galactus??... WTF??? As an aside, I've finally decided who would be better in the role of Dr. Doom than the sadly miscast Julian McMahon.... Gabriel Byrne. He can make sinister and over-the-top believable, which Doom needs.
Live Free or Die Hard:
7. Throw caution and anything resembling the original premise to the wind and just make a wild action film. Yeah, it's entertaining. I miss Die Hard.
Transformers:
6. Let's get a nice ensemble cast and then make a movie focused on giant robots. Every time Megan Fox was on camera, she did things with her mouth that made my pants uncomfortable. BTW, guys, inserting comedy into a supposedly serious movie about giant robots is like inserting dog poo into my hamburger.... Don't do that.
Harry Potter and Whatever Sequel We're Up To:
8. I liked it more than any other Potter film, probably because of the dark treatment.
The Bourne Ultimatum:
5. The Bourne Cookiecutter. Not that it's bad.
30 Days of Night:
2. Supposedly a really good graphic novel that didn't transition well to film.
Mr. Brooks:
1. The talentless black hole that is Kevin Costner as an intelligent homocidal maniac.
Hitman:
2. Entertaining action movie. I don't want to say it was miscast, but the lead always struck me as a friendly, Bill Paxton wannabe who just wanted to be nice.
I am Legend:
5. It's hard for one man to carry 3/4 of a movie all by himself. Will Smith does ok.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets:
5. National Treasure was good. NT: BoS is good.
That's it for 2007. Sorry for the cop-out reviews, but isn't it really better that I get things rolling again? I thought so too. I'll itemize what I've seen in 2008. ¶ 2:22 PM 0 comments
Click:
4. Harmless fun, if a little preachy. Christopher Walken = fun. Kate Beckinsale is one of the hottest, most desirable girls in film today. I want her very very badly.Disturbia:
6. Really quite good. Suspenseful, Hitchcockian quality to it.Fracture:
2. Anthony Hopkins, back at the creepiness he does so well. Slightly shakey plotline.
Hot Fuzz:
9. I can't begin to tell you how much fun this movie is. I bought the DVD.
The Invisible:
4. I remember thinking this wasn't bad.
Next:
1. Nice premise. This could have been so much more than it was.
Spider-Man 3:
1. What a crashing disappointment after the first two movies. I bought the DVDs of those, I didn't of this. It was like watching a train wreck. One of those movies that desperately needed someone whose sole job was to smack the writer/director/producer in the head every time they uttered the phrase, "wouldn't it be funny if....??"
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End:
8. Good. Better than PotC 2, which I maintain should have been edited into a 30 minute lead-in to this film.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer:
6. I maintain that they've still got the wrong people in this movie at all levels (with the exception of Chris Evans, who "gets" Johnny Storm). The Silver Surfer looks good. At least we're finally dealing on a more cosmic level of plotline, which the FF is all about. Galactus??... WTF??? As an aside, I've finally decided who would be better in the role of Dr. Doom than the sadly miscast Julian McMahon.... Gabriel Byrne. He can make sinister and over-the-top believable, which Doom needs.
Live Free or Die Hard:
7. Throw caution and anything resembling the original premise to the wind and just make a wild action film. Yeah, it's entertaining. I miss Die Hard.
Transformers:
6. Let's get a nice ensemble cast and then make a movie focused on giant robots. Every time Megan Fox was on camera, she did things with her mouth that made my pants uncomfortable. BTW, guys, inserting comedy into a supposedly serious movie about giant robots is like inserting dog poo into my hamburger.... Don't do that.
Harry Potter and Whatever Sequel We're Up To:
8. I liked it more than any other Potter film, probably because of the dark treatment.
The Bourne Ultimatum:
5. The Bourne Cookiecutter. Not that it's bad.
30 Days of Night:
2. Supposedly a really good graphic novel that didn't transition well to film.
Mr. Brooks:
1. The talentless black hole that is Kevin Costner as an intelligent homocidal maniac.
Hitman:
2. Entertaining action movie. I don't want to say it was miscast, but the lead always struck me as a friendly, Bill Paxton wannabe who just wanted to be nice.
I am Legend:
5. It's hard for one man to carry 3/4 of a movie all by himself. Will Smith does ok.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets:
5. National Treasure was good. NT: BoS is good.
That's it for 2007. Sorry for the cop-out reviews, but isn't it really better that I get things rolling again? I thought so too. I'll itemize what I've seen in 2008. ¶ 2:22 PM 0 comments
